So I know that our world is genuinely in a pretty shit state at the moment and it terrifies me to my core. I stay up late into the night watching the news on repeat, research certain terrorist groups, learn more about Kiva loans and focus my energy on trying to create some positive change.
I get it.
My problems are massively outweighed by those who have no shelter, no clean water, and no family.
Still today I feel sad for myself. Well actually I would go bigger than sad. I feeling fucking devastated.
Because today. I’m going back to school.
I have had two months completely off. Lots of you out there will be all like ‘bitch please’ but I can’t shake this feeling of doom.
I live a very lovely life 365 days a year and for that I am thankful everyday but my life genuinely gets better during the two months that I have for summer.
I get to spend guilt-free time with all the people I love the most.
I get to go to new places, try new things and see the world.
I get to read and play and this summer most importantly relax.
The end of the summer term is normally my favourite when working in a school. There is so much fun to be had and the community only gets closer.
This summer term however it was completely the opposite.
I’m the type of gal who likes to go to bed at 9pm if I’m in on my own. I like to end the night with a bath, with candles and an icy cold glass of water.
Instead I couldn’t sleep. I was eventually falling asleep at 4am for weeks on end. And when you have to be down in school ready to inspire teenage girls at 8.20am. That is tough.
I felt as if I was in a constant state of panic. As if an elephant was not only sat on my chest but doing a full tap dance routine on it.
The lack of sleep was making me unorganised. Jobs that would normally take 5 minutes took an hour. I forgot to reply to important emails. My candle was burning low and I felt certain that it would blow out before the summer holidays happened.
But it didn’t.
I made it.
I think the only explanation is that I listened to Destiny Child songs on repeat.
I have had a lot of time, well two months to be exact, to think about what went wrong.
The answer came quickly and easily.
I said yes to too many things.
I have a need to constantly please people. I have a fear of letting people down. It’s not that I think they will like me more, I couldn’t give two shits about that, but there I guess I am just programmed to
“You will do it Sophie and you will do it well.”
So well I did it but to a massive cost. I lost my creativity. Just look back to the last time I sat down and wrote a proper blog post. Not just a broken promise of being back and better than ever.
I’m a proactive person.
I have found the problem. Now I must find a cure.
So I am here to share with you my work life rules. I would call them commandments but I really hate religion. If, however, I find a more creative word than rules I will update you. Please do feel free to suggest suggestions to me!!!
Well let’s get to it Sophie.
So here are the new measures I will be putting into place to make sure that the tap dancing elephant never returns.
1. Exercise before work and have breakfast.
I teach a subject called Wellbeing which is basically PSHCE (personal, social,health and citizenship education) so I stand up and talk to teenage girls all day long about why eating breakfast and getting regular exercise is so important. So why the frick am I not doing it myself? Practise what you teach Blunt.
2. Use the Filofax
I love a to do list. I love stationary but at the end of last term I think that I literally went into denial about the amount of work I had to do so I ignored it and became last with my list making. I felt as I was swimming in a nasty world of half remembered things. I am determined to start this year in an organised way. You have no idea how excited I am to start making lists again.
3. Do one creative thing for work a week.
I love to be at work. I love to be creative. Let’s mesh them together baby!
4. No iPad in bed post 9pm.
Once upon a time I used to despise iPads and then I got sucked I to buying one and now you can’t get me off it. No more. Back are the days of picking up and reading a book to relax. Good bye blue light FOREVER…well near enough.
5. Make sure clothes go to dry cleaners regularly.
I have some pretty beautiful clothes. So why do they sit in my laundry bin for weeks, months and a few items years before I get my arse round to getting them cleaned. I spend far too many mornings stressing about what I am going to wear. It would be far less if they were actually all hung up nicely in my wardrobe rather than crumpled on the floor!
6. Sign up for a course for work.
I work in education because I believe in learning. It is the most important thing a human can do nudge it should not be reserved for the young. I am going to sign up for a course that will one day (fingers crossed) help further my career! Put the power into your own hands people.
7. Tick three things of the to do list a day.
These maybe big. These maybe small but three is the target.
8. Organise all my emails by the end of the day.
Two email related points here because I just get thousands of them! I will try my best to always organise by emails but the end of the day. By end of the day I mean by the time I leave the main school building because I will be…
9. Turn(ing) off email notifications on my iPad if not on duty by 6.30pm.
I have a bloody work phone. If it’s urgent people will ring me. Time of needs to be enjoyed…
10. Do one thing everyday that makes me happy.
My dad is a wonderful human and we share a great love for quotes. For my birthday he got me a wall decoration type thing which has the quote ‘Do one thing that makes you happy everyday.’
It was just what I needed to hear.
And it is just what I will do!
It might be to cook myself a lovely meal, watch a movie, go for a drive, paint my nails, whack on a facemask, write a blog post, ring an old friend….
You get the picture.
Just writing this post has made me feel better.
Here’s to finally getting the work-life balance right!