The first couple of months in 2015 were pretty tough for me. The reasons behind feeling this way are something that I am going to choose to keep private and away from blog-land for now.
However I have always found writing an extremally cathartic activity and I want to take a brief moment to sit and write baout how I was feeling during those months.
I felt lost, I was not sure where to turn and not even a little bit of me felt like my old self. I was wondering what the hell was wrong with me but slowly day by day I began to slowly recognise the person staring back at me in the mirror again. Now on the 29th March (a few days before this will be published) I am back. I am feeling focused, positive and ready to kick the hell out of 2015’s ass.
Normally on the first of each month I post a list of the monthly goals that I have set myself. The last one was published in February and I failed all of the goals on it miserably due to lacking all motivation and the fact that I felt utterly miserable throughout the whole month, although I had become a pro at disguising it from my family and friends.
Now, I have become lighter and feel so much freer than I did at the start of this year. This change has timed itself perfectly with Spring and I feel as if the big old dark stormy rain cloud that was following me around for the past few months has finally lifted. I am once again ready to let light and positive energy back into my days.
I have decided to not set myself goals this month but to instead to ‘Just Say Yes’ to anything, everything and everyone that comes my way. *Within reason: nothing that might bankrupt, risk life or hurt another.* Make sure that you come back in a months time as I have scheduled in a follow-up post that will hopefully document all the joy that has come from just saying yes. Also feel free to suggest things that I can say yes to in the comments below!
I have forever lived by the words:
You can sleep when your dead.
Now that I am feeling full of energy once again I will not be making excuses to crawl into bed and sob to Saccone-Joly YouTube videos. I want to get out there, to embrace new things and to challenge myself.
When I reflect on my days so far, most of the best have come from the unexpected adventures that I have taken solo or with the people that I want to be around and who make me excited. They are the type of days were you have no plans until a friends picks up the phone and offers you a day full of adventure. Even though it might be the last thing that you want to do, you do it anyway, you just say yes; the type of day that you realise just how wonderful your life is.
When I am an old lady I want to be able to look back and be able to say that I lived life to the fullest, that I had a wonderful time and embraced the crap out of it. I want to be battered and wrinkled by my smiles and laughter. I want to have done it all.
I have no idea what is going to happen today, tomorrow or 50 years from now but I am ready and finally once again excited for the opportunities, challenges and laughter that is going to come. I know that everyday will not be filled with rainbows, unicorns and pixie dust but I now know that things will get better…just like how they have over these past two months.
So bring it on world. I am ready for you!